let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
