that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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