Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
