you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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