if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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