It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
