He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
