I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
