that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
