her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
