WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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