so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
