I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize