You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
how does that bad decision feel?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
