She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
