we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
