I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
