Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
