I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
