She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
this just has baby written all over it
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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