May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
