is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
