absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
