just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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