just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Vodka?
Forever.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
