have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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