there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
