im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
