last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
