Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
