First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
