I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
