oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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