ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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