well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
