when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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