i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
