Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
