So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
