I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
