i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
you told grandpa to call you daddy
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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