And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm having to shit out rocks
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