I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
there is glitter all over my balls
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
