You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
