she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize