Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
