just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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