Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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