he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
she told me i tasted like america
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
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