After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
