i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Less talking, more tequila
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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