we're making bets on your personal life
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
