I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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