Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
