Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
