How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
