Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just had sex on a roof
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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