Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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