How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
