there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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