i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
