Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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