I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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