This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
