Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
im six kinds of drunk right now
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
