I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
