Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
