this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
