I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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