How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
