She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
