He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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