your thong is hanging out like whoa
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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