I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
