What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
