Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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