You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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