shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
