Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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