I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
