did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
