Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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