Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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