i just wanna soil my oats bro
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
