I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
