its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
